This post is one that I’ve played over and over in my head. I actually think about the last times. Maybe it comes from the loss of family members over time that I worry about relishing all times – just in case it’s a “last time”. Bumbling – I knew I would – this is hard to explain. So let me ask…
When was the last time….
that you fingerpainted?
you sang out loud in the shower?
that you danced – I mean really danced?
Now, you see where I’m going? Here are the real questions that cause almost a tear sometimes because I know that these “last times” have passed – and I don’t get them back.
When was the last time that I held my son on my lap for a snuggle before he was too big to do this?
When was the last time I changed my children’s diapers? (really, I miss the little swooshing fannies in my house)
When was the last time before my mom died that we laughed together?
When was the last time my oldest son or oldest daughter held my hand to cross a street?
When was the last time I stayed up all night to study for a test?
When was the last time I played the lullabye tape for my babies?
When was the last time my sister and I went shopping before she died?
When was the last time my grandma cooked a meal for me?
When was the last time I picked up and carried my son or daugther before they were too big?
When was the last time I brushed my older children’s hair?
When was the last time I snuggled my children in a towel after a bath?
When was the last time I heard my daddy play the saxophone?
What was the last bedtime story I read to my two oldest children?
When was the last time my oldest two climbed in to our bed because of a nightmare?
When was the last time I traveled with my grandparents to the country?
When was the last time my grandma and I picked a tomato?
When was the last time my babies wore swim wings?
When was the last time I put a band-aid on my oldest children’s boo-boo?
When was the last time we used a high chair?
When was the last time my babies slept in their baby bed?
When was the last time we sang “Pat-a-cake”?
When was the last ride with training wheels?
When was the last time I helped with dance tights?
When was the last time called out spelling words to my son?
When was the last time I used a baby dropper for medicine?
When was the last time my girls wore those cute white sandals?
When was the last time we’d walk down the kindergarten hall?
When was the last first time we took our children camping?
When was the last time I jumped over waves in the ocean as a carefree child (before I worried about critters in the ocean)?
When was the last time I held my husband’s hand?
When was the last time I was tickled by my dad until I screamed for mercy?
When was the last time I would play my clarinet in a band?
Oh – it just goes on and on. It nags at me that I’ve already been through these “last times” with my oldest two children or with family that have already passed away. There truly was a last night in that baby bed – the bed that all four of my children slept.
There really was a last time that I sat and listenend to my dad play the saxophone. Most likely, I was rolling my eyes hoping he would stop soon. Oh, what I’d give to hear that sound again.
And my mom…she loved to cook. There was a last meal that she cooked for me – wish I knew what it was so I could relish it forever in my mind.
This post is sad – but it inspires in me a need to love every minute. I don’t do it all the time. But I do make sure that I make an extra effort to make these childhood times last longer. I can’t pick my son up and carry him in the house while he sleeps on my shoulder, or my daughter for that matter, but I can make the most of the where we are now. I can break out in song in the kitchen with a spatula as my microphone and watch my children laugh hysterically. Everything we do is in the present – we just don’t realize how precious the present is until it’s the past…..